I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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