If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
