You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
