Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
