it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
