Nicole vs. Life
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
