Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Boobs are out for the taking
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
