remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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