He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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