i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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