Jerry, you need to find god
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
