under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
