my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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