You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
