I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize