Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
