Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just want to make out with him forever
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
