Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
