So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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