and you said cock pushups were impossible
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
