Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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