The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
