I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
