Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
