So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
