you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
