Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
