I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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