There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you will always have a special place in my vag
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
