What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
