Dude my mom stole all your condoms
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
