i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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