i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
