do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i dont even know how to be here
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
