I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
