It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
