He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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