this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
