So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
