We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
