And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
