hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
