i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
