He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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