All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We left the knife in your bed.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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