Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
