Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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