This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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