I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
