He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize