sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
