Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
