they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
