R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
