you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
my liver is dry heaving
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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