Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
