ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
