apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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