I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
thus making me awesome and them whores
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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