I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
