is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
please come you make the beer taste better
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm at about main and main street
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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