At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
