How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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