then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize